I vividly remember Sundays as a kid. I remember laying in bed after church with what felt like, insurmountable loads of homework staring me in the face. I was a high-functioning procrastinator and some weekends I would wait until Sunday afternoon to start the book for which the report was due the next day.
I remember staring between the pages and the ceiling and needing to re-read every paragraph of The Pearl, by John Steinbeck because my mind was wandering so severely that I could not concentrate enough to get through chapter one. Despite my mother’s best efforts to encourage time management and “starting before the night before the project was due,” I knew my ability to give a half-assed attempt and still receive an A, and I took advantage of it- to no support of my mental health.
I was willing to take the Sunday Scaries head on and muscle my way through the dull depression queued by the lull voices of 60 minutes and the smell of delivery pizza.
The sun would set on Sunday night only to shed light on just how screwed I was and how little sleep I was about to get. I knew I was going to start the school week shot out of a cannon and delirious as I ran in late for 1st period.
With Age Comes Wisdom?
Now that I am older, I have not completely shed the procrastinator side of me. In fact, I am leaving this Tuesday for a trip to Europe and I have not begun to pack- in a way I actually find that delay of excitement somehow enjoyable. However, I have learned to value time management and my ability to accomplish a lot and feel on top of things when I embrace it.
I have learned to love Sundays. I no longer suffer from the Sunday Scaries and instead I take the day to Pause, Pamper and Prepare. Here on some tips and tricks on how to take back your Sunday and feel ready for the week ahead.
How To Conquer the Sunday Scaries
Pause
In the Christian faith, we recognize Sunday as the Sabbath, the Lord’s Day, a day of rest. For many this holds a strong sense of pressure to go to church with the family presented a certain way. We take a different approach as a family. We searched for a long time to find a church we love with a community we look forward to learning with and from.
We do not feel pressured or judged by our church community and if we are out of sorts, sick, or needing physical rest it’s often probable that only a fraction of our family will make it to church on Sunday. My husband and I decided a while ago that yelling at each other and the kids to “hurry!”, “don’t where that”, and “We HAVE TO GO TO CHURCH, OK?!” was not modeling the relationship with God we wanted our kids to learn from.
Today I was recovering from some viral crud and my daughter was less than 24 hours fever free. We slept while the boys went to church. I read some bible verses and journaled with a cup of coffee while my body recovered and nobody stressed. Instead of starting out Sunday morning with high stress expectations and the pressure to push ourselves, we prioritize peace.
Pamper
After Church or some form of quiet devotion, prayer, or PAUSE, I create a list. I am obsessed with lists and I use this step to brain dump the big things that are coming for the week as well as the things I feel like I “need” to get done for the day. Getting everything out of my brain and onto paper gives me a clear view of what could evolve into a potential stressor later.
I make it a point to put some pampering on my list. For example, today I was focused on tackling inflammation. I set the goal for some light exercise, a sauna sit, and a cold shower (a cold plunge felt like too much effort). These three things accompanied with my onslaught of supplements, herbs and activated charcoal would help support my detox and healing and give me the satisfaction of taking a little extra care of myself.
Pampering is an important part of fending off the Sunday Scaries for me. It reminds me that Sunday is a special day that allows us to physically, mentally and emotionally rest from the past week and prepare for the week ahead. Indulging in what my mind and body needs helps me to feel restored and strengthened to see my weekly workload in reality instead of with an inflated perception of stress and dread.
Additionally, if I prioritize pampering, I am less focus on what “needs” to get done around the house and more motivated to do the tasks and chores that help the family feel restored. This is why I love cooking on Sundays.
Cooking is an act of service and pampering. I feel refreshed with the meditative state that cooking without a timeline brings and I get to serve my family a delicious meal. To be clear, I detest cooking on week nights. I didn’t want you to think I was positioning myself as some domestic goddess there for a minute. I ONLY like to cook on Sundays.
Get creative with what you deem as pampering. Maybe it’s a trip to a favorite orchard with the kids, a visit to Target with a seasonal coffee drink in hand, or a playful hike in the woods. Culturally we overuse the call for “self-care” but I would agree that some intentional effort toward healing and indulgence can go a long way.
Prepare
It’s OK to want to feel productive. I understand that many people on social media (and myself in my book Is This Adulting?) are critical of today’s hustle culture. Although a lot of what is sold to us today is unreasonable and a represents a one-way ticket to burnout-land especially for working parents, I am still on board with excelling in my career and finding hacks to make me as efficient and effective as possible.
Often times my Sunday morning list will help me identify some simple tasks I can tackle to feel more prepared for the week ahead. This might include packing a suitcase, cleaning my room, preparing the kids clothes, or even getting a head start on a long Monday to do list. If weekend errands and chores allow, I may even try to carve out some time on Sunday night to get a head start.
I used to resist working on weekends at all costs- similar to vacation. What I have learned is that 30 minutes of focused work on a day where I feel no pressure, relieves a substantial amount of mental load on a workday when there are unexpected tasks and communications that need immediate and unexpected attention.
At the very least, I create a schedule for Monday complete with buckets of time to attack my to do list and any personal goals/tasks for the day. Tackling at least one of those items before I go to bed helps me feel like I have a head start on the week.
Approaching Sunday as a day to pause, pamper, and prepare makes it a day to look forward to instead of a day to dread. I hope some of these examples help you to take back your Sundays and feel ready for a productive, less stressed week ahead!
