As a working parent I have mixed feelings about the end of every school year. Across all weeks of the year, the two weeks that sneak up on me the fastest and make me feel the most inadequate are the last two weeks of school. With all of the parties, events, field-days & signup sheets I never seem to crush it at 100%. After nine years of last days of school here is my take on how to survive.

Understanding the struggle

Emotions

At the beginning of every school year, we are excited to take those first day of school pictures. It means the end of long summer days and they return to much needed structure. The first day of school for me feels more like New Year’s Day than New Year’s Day itself. It usually centers around decluttering, new wardrobe, crisp air, new haircuts, and excitement for what’s to come.

The first day of school photograph is always a reminder of how fast the kids are growing and often leaves me with mixed emotions, however; That is to be expected as they enter a new school year, a benchmark which is shared by parents across the country.

The last days of school are different. They come quickly and somewhat sneakily. The last day of school is the end every year with the same friends, teachers and milestones that have brought them from point A to point B. The last day is met with worn out shoes, broken backpacks shaggy hair cafeteria balances and late book dues. We are supposed to feel joyful about it because it’s the beginning of summer and the end of early mornings and late-night homework stress. However, there’s a quiet sadness that underlays the fact that your child is moving on from one stage and entering another.

My oldest son will be finishing 8th grade and will return to school in the fall as a freshman in high school. I know his first day of high school will be an emotional one for me, but I am less prepared for the emotional lead up to the last day of 8th grade. I’m not ready.

There is no time to process the emotion that comes at the end of the school year. It’s immediately on to a new schedule and a heightened level of insanity around summer fun and activities. There is no time to process the milestone as our children progresses from one grade to the next. These emotions are challenging to identify but they are there. A swirling mix of grief, joy, excitement, pride, and longing.

Guilt

Mom-guilt is obnoxious, but unfortunately, it’s real. As a working mom it’s almost impossible to see the sign-up alert and get to it quickly enough to help out at events like field trips, outdoor parties, end of year celebrations, and other events that center around the end of school. Even if you’re lucky enough to get the e-mail remember your login to whatever sign up app is being used and get your name on the list, there is a very slight chance you will not already have a work conflict in the way. Most of my conversations at home around the last two weeks of school sound like this,

“Did you sign up to help at the thing?”

“No, I didn’t even know there was a thing”

“Yeah! It’s a super important thing and I need a bunch of stuff for it and parents can come to help!”

After combing through my emails, I find the note about the thing only to learn that to “come help” you had to sign up in a 15 second window on the limited slots available on the parent volunteer signup sheet. For my 8th graders end of year party that means I’m on cleanup crew. I’m actually pumped to be on the cleanup crew because there was only one spot left and I’ll just happen to show up an hour early to watch the festivities.

More years than I can count I never got to the sign-up sheet fast enough and was unable to help with the events. For several years this left me feeling guilty. Now I take a different approach.

Here are three reminders that have helped me survive the last two weeks of school.

It’s not just you

You are not the only parent who forgot to “sign the thing”, adhere to the 100-day countdown activities, or provide snacks, water bottles, supplies, etc. to all the parties. Sure, you may have wanted to or intended to, but the last two weeks of school come fast and even the most organized masters of the household cannot all keep up with the onslaught of fun that is the last two weeks of school. Many parents have to work, and many do not have the flexibility to participate in daytime festivities and field trips the way we would like to. You are not alone. If you are feeling judged by another parent, realize that either:

• They are not actually judging you at all because they are more concerned with themselves.
• They are only casting judgement because of their own insecurities.

Either way, it’s none of your damn business so drop the judgement spiral and enjoy your life!

It’s not FOR you

It’s incredible what teachers, classroom parents, and other helpers put together to make the countdown to summer a whole lot of fun for our kids; but remember, it’s for THE KIDS! Nobody is demanding you do anything. Do not let guilt get the best of you here. If the kids don’t show up in the right t-shirt, they will be OK. This fun is for them. Focus on that part when talking with your kids.

The sighs, eye rolls, and “WTF’s” that come out when your little one comes home to tell you about the sign-up sheet you missed do not enhance their excitement or soothe their concern. I recommend resorting to throwing in the towel in cases like this. If you missed something or didn’t make it to the volunteer signup sheet in time, reassure your kids that does not change the fact that they are going to have an AWESOME time and that you can’t wait to hear all about it from them when they get home!

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Bring the fun your OWN way!

The last days of school is only the beginning of the kickoff to summer! Bring some fun in your own way once they are home from school:

• Water balloon attack when they get off the bus (these are my new faves)
• Pizza party and sleepover with friends
• Movie night with popcorn
• Backyard campout

There are plenty of creative ways to celebrate the beginning of summer in the comfort of your own home with little to no preparation.

Enjoy

These milestones are precious. Do not let guilt, exhaustion, fear of judgement, or fear of missing out ruin the opportunity to celebrate the end of a year of hard work with your kids. You have all worked hard to get to this point and you do not need to take on unnecessary stress to make it a special time.